Farimang Touray

Bio:

I am a born and raised Alaskan (shout out Anchorage) and currently work as a physical therapist. Growing up in Anchorage is one thing I will always be proud of, it really was where the foundation was built for myself and has helped shape me into the person I am today. It is easy to take for granted what you have been blessed with and through it all, I try to not forget where I come from and what helped me get to this point now. It is a journey, one that I am glad to be on and I am excited to see where it leads. When I am not working, I enjoy being outside, traveling, playing basketball, podcasting, writing and exploring what limits can be pushed.

Follow and support Farimang by following him on twitter and instagram at: @docmang

Now that you're older, what advice would you give yourself about being a man and what that means?

I would tell my younger self that you will have big responsibilities to upheld when it comes to being a man in regard to being a provider, being there for my family, being the rock. It is a big responsibility and you’re going to feel like you’re doing a horrible job but stay true to who you are. When people tell you that you are doing a great job, listen to them, don’t downplay it.

Healthy manhood isn’t a destination, it’s a journey. What is something you’ve learned from your journey that you want to share with other men?

Figure out what is important to you and keep the main thing the main thing. You build self-confidence by keeping the promises you make to yourself. So, if you deliver on the things that you find important, it will improve your self-esteem, people will notice your confidence and will attract the right people towards you.

What qualities do you think are important to model for young men?

I believe that it is important to demonstrate the skill of action, if you tell someone to do something, make sure that you don’t go ahead and do the opposite. You lose credibility if you don’t do what you say you are going to do. Another skill I believe should be modeled to young men is being able to communicate. Being able to communicate when you are in a heated situation, being able to process your emotions and understanding when to say something or if you’re too upset walking away and returning when you have cooled off. But don’t hold in your emotions, have a way to express them. If you let them build up, eventually you will erupt like a volcano and could cause more harm than good.

What does a genuine friendship look like?

Having someone that you trust with anything. They won’t tell you just what you want to hear, but what you need to hear. Someone that holds you accountable and you should be able to do the same. Friendships are a two-way street and what you expect from your friends, you should deliver the same expectations.

Who or What anchors you when times are hard?

Now it’s my wife, my family, and my close friends. People that I can go to with whatever I am going through something. They allow me to vent about what I am feeling, listen to whatever I am going through and offer advice when necessary. Understanding that eventually the hard times will pass but need my circle to help me get through. When I don’t want to talk, I head to the basketball court or weight room, just to go to my happy place and reset.

Life can be overwhelming. How do you stay afloat?

Take care of the physical with exercising, and basketball. Address the mental with journaling, having conversations with people close to me.

How do you express yourself and your emotions in healthy ways?

I think I have done a lot better job at not keeping my emotions bottled in, finding ways to channel them via conversations, journaling, exercising. Asking myself why I am feeling some type of way and trying to break down why that emotion came about and how I can tackle that emotion.

Are you the man you want to be?

I don’t know if I will ever be the man I want to be, always going to be a way to get a little better. It’s always a process, it’s about the journey not the destination. Every day I try to be a bit better, understanding that there will always be a new peak to climb, and going to be ups and downs along the way, but I strive to be the best I can be every day.

How do you show respect to others?

Listen to them, acknowledge their feelings, and meet them where they are at. I think my work as a physical therapist has allowed me to meet a lot of people in a lot of different situations. It’s important to show people you care about them, and they can see when you are actually invested in them and their improvement.

How do you show love to others?

Figure out how best they receive love and try to deliver that. Everyone is different and its important to take the time to get to know the person in front of you and how they operate.